Right so now I became bold and gave sweets this address when he asked for it. And although I am not too bothered by the fact that he did read, there is a part of me thinking if I'll now be more guarded with my writing & revealing.

Another hopelessly meaningless day at office and now am thinking of leaving for rehearsals. Called Dinesh & asked him to pick me up. I am feeling good about myself, its to do with the fact that I know I know. Makes any sense? probably not. What I meant to say was that I know stuff, that I didn't know I knew and now that I know I know or can manage it makes me feel good. Like I can know more and I wont really forget, just push it to the back of my mind. hehe... Its raining and I wish I could go jump out into a puddle and just get wet. Best place to be would be the beach right now. WOW :)

Another I ought to add to my list is learning to make more than a sound on the flute. Cos I think I have a talent for it ;p it took me a week to make my first noise k and that's pretty good i would say. Don't you think? I want the Harry Potter Book. Cant wait for it. want want want. might just be dumb enough to go buy it. Hope I can control these highly irrational urges. But I want.

I get this really bad feeling that tomorrow going to be a mess of a day. Cos there is this brief we got today but I haven't put anything down on paper cos the client serving woman had to get back to me with the launch plans. Now tomorrow there is a meeting on it as well as I don't know what else. My client been awfully silent for so long now that I am certain they'll come any day and say they want this, this, this done and now. Its frustrating feeling to feel like I am not doing anything even though I am doing all I can do right now.

Its Thursday and today is the deadline for my SMD chapter. Must complete it, even if it means staying up late. me going, Iro is calling, there are biscuits and Milo. God what an absolute waste of a day. Oh BTW, today is my 8th month anniversary with sweets, may not seem like long to many but to me its a milestone. bye.

Tadaaa....I have completed one item from my list and half done another. Paid exams fees, thanks to sweets. I also called Daya up to ask about the lesson fees and all. Boody hell they are expensive! shockingly so. I think it would be better if I were to learn the basics with sweets and then just apply for the exams. Must call them back and ask how much it would be then - hopefully cheaper!

Sweets is planning on visiting his ex-girlfriend on Saturday. Hmmmmn...Wedding jitters are setting in, only 10 months. Feeling anxious and indifferent all at the same time. I just want to get married and have the deed done. Nobody is making a decision or finalising anything. Its so frustrating. The only thing I know I have to do is save. Dont have a clue is to how much is needed even. My inlaws want so many functions, my parents want this many. DECIDE FOR CRIKES SAKE! Still waiting for my engagement ring and for my parents to invite my in laws for dinner. sigh...

Was told today that there is a slight, minuet, miniscule, tiny possibility of going to India in October from office. (Please Please God if you can see me type this, make this is a sure thing.)

For now though going to buy my jeans, go to the dentist, read my books and study. well actually study ought to come first there. Oh and enroll for lectures! The prospect of going back to class even for 3 months is exciting. I love the subjects and really enjoy the lectures but need to try and focus more.

I will not let myself think of the wedding. As long as it happens in the near future I am fine with it. Exams is my baby, totally.

Trip to India is left to God. Just found out that Sweets is going to India the day after my birthday. I must say I am a little upset about it cos I know he wont be around for atleast a month cos he loves India as much as I do and maybe more. He wont be there for Ramazan. Going to miss him I know. Will come to that also later. Stick to now, for now.

Going home, a totally unproductive day at work comes to an end - although it never began. Ta.