Work is getting to me, and I just wish I could dig myself out of this rut. It's been so long since anyone or anything has made me feel this hopeless. Something happened at work which has kinda made all that was going on seem much worse.

I found a CV that was the exact replica of mine, I mean I guess I ought to feel honoured that somebody had though my CV to be so great that they would want to have the same. But what's killing me is that it was done with out asking me and that the person who did it, has in the past couple of months put me through hell and whats worse was that I considered this person a friend. I cant grasp or rather accept that people would actually do something like that. That every word they say can be a lie and the smile they give all just a facade.

I feel betrayed and feel as though my privacy has been invaded. And right now and I dont even know what I ought to do about it. Worse was finding out that it was given to her by my oldest 'friend' in office who also happens to be the manager. ANd when I asked her about it she lied and made it out to be that I had been less than careful with my documents. Infact she stated that there can be nothing called 'personal' in your office computer. Everything there should and can be accessible to all.

I am just mad at all this so so mad. and it doesnt seem to get any better.

Now I have with me a very lucrative offer which I am to consider. But I know its not what I want. It'll never be that. And that is sad. Not being able to go after the job you want and know you'll be good at it.

Now about this studying business, God knows I suck at it. I know I cant even consider flunking. But I dont think I have it in to pass either.

Gosh this is sounding so bloody pathetic, me off. Let me get my head screwed on straight and then maybe i'll consider putting down something worthwhile.

sigh.... to all